When I first turned 23 I was depressed for days. I sat outside my Athens apartment patio with one hand holding a cosmo, the other holding a cigarette. My best friend, Kim, kept me company as I sat for hours contemplating in which direction I wanted my life to go in. My father had just passed and the job I had recently scored in Manhattan along with a newly signed leased would eventually live out another girl's dreams.
This last quarter ended just as it started-extremely rough, highly emotional, and leaving me questioning what the hell am I doing? In desperate need of a break I decided to lose myself in the most fabulous city in the world, NYC. Mr. Big and I left on whim about 2 weekends ago. To my astonishment, as I was walking around the entire tiny island, I noticed how lovely all the Manhattan women are. They all look so well polished with glowing flawless skin and teeny waistlines. Everyone talks about how rude New Yorkers are but actually I beg to differ. Unlike in the south, where everyone is as fake and pretentious as they come, I find northerns's straightforward approach highly refreshing.
Friday evening, Big and I went to dinner at a darling jazz club in Soho. It was very New York. Saturday, however, it began to rain horrible. We tried to adventure out but when worst came to worst, we sat down at a cafe in Central Park and began watching the sky shower the city. As we were sitting there, I began to cry heavily which evoked a rather large and deep, life-changing conversation. All my insecurities about school and about my future just seemed to pour out of me. Everyone around us at the cafe thought Big was breaking up with me. As if.
I left so early Sunday morning that we didnt have anytime to play. Naturally, it was a gorgeous day. I should have expected this much. The funny thing is that even though I didn’t get that much time away and even though I had my very public meltdown, it's probably the best trip I have ever taken.
4 years later I find myself turning 23 again. This time the transition has been much smoother. I have started school with a completely new outlook on life. I have a new job that I absolutely adore, revisiting a new therapist to help iron me out all my negative complications, and I've even signed up to be a counselor for children with eating disorders. I still don’t quite know where Im going in life but I suppose I'll figure it out eventually. And when I do figure it out, here's hoping I’ll already be in New York. Can hardly wait.
