Gloden Globes and everything in between

Sher and I in New York City

Why is it that the world seems to be so obsessed with celebrities? I try to tell myself I don't care about them. I hate that I know so much about them. The fact of the matter is I get caught up in their moments. I like the idea of it all- everyone dressed up all the time, looking beautiful, everyone fitting in. I love Perez because he points out their flaws and then I remember they aren't perfect. I always forget they aren't perfect.

I have a huge crush on Huey Lory- the actor from House. He just won for best actor and his acceptance speech was extremely charming. The British accent does it for me every time.

I also have a huge crush on Jeremy Piven. Correction, on Ari - all male, very smart (and funny) hard worker, a little bit crazy, loves to travel, and very nice good looking. Who wouldn't love him?

School has been going ok. Everyone kinda has been doing their own thing lately. I wish someone taped the first quarter party- I would like to go back and watch some of those sweet, but fake moments again. Isn't that funny how alcohol does that to people? At the party, everyone was super sweet, social, and everyone just seemed to enjoy each other's company. At school some of the designers seems so cocky and act like assholes. Why cant people act more like they do when they are drinking? People are more passionate, more loving. Now I know there are tons of side effects with drinking, but no one ever talks about the good drinking brings. Just a thought that I had today.

Off to watch Jay...


"All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars" Bob Dylan

Totally Zugging

In between sulking about the Clermont Lounge and the absence of Tat, I discovered something brilliant today at work. As I was flipping through this month's GQ, (the one with a very old looking George Clooney on the cover) I discovered an ad for the new Mini called "ZIG. ZAG. ZUG." . It is a tiny little pull out book ad, a brand book if you will, and assuming it was again from the masterminds in Boulder, I read it front to end.



The writing is so simple yet so perfect. The ad is actually from a California-based advertising agency called Butler, Shine, Stern & Partners and this evening, I am so inspired. The booklet entitled the "Book of ZUG" neatly summarizes remarkability, while introducing Mini Cooper's new vehicle.

ZUG [zUHg] - adjective, verb, noun.
1. To be unlike others.
2. To do something different.
3. A place in Switzerland.

On the page edge, they've also printed statements that further define, ZUG... on this page:

"ZUG is unapologetically unapologetic."



What's also clever is a word like ZUG is pretty uncommon. It is a town in Switzerland. Do a Google search for "zug -switzerland" and Mini Cooper will be able to easily track how/if the word begins to enter our everyday language.

While the word "ZUG" probably won't become part of my lexicon, the definitions provided in the book will. Here are more quotes from the ad booklet. Each is a gem.

ZUG.
We live in a world of mass-produced sameness.
Originality has fallen prey to predictability.
the status quo has become the status quo.
And even the copies have been copied.

Which is why some of us ZUG.

ZUG follows unconventional wisdom.

ZUG is the belief that there is still so much to be discovered. It is the feeling that we are the first, last and best version of ourselves that there will ever be.

ZUG likes when something weird happens.

ZUG is about moving confidently in our own direction, with no apologies. And ZUG is about going that way in style.

ZUG will try anything once.

(Here's the part where they loop in their vehicle.)

The Mini Clubman is ZUG.

It looks odd. It runs on irregular. It is the brown sheep of the family. It may not be right for you. Then again, you may not be right for it.

(Instead of the mainstream, they say it is "Fringestream".)

The Road of ZUG.
ZUG isn't necessarily good or bad. It just is. It's the oddball member of an already slightly eccentric family.

ZUG makes it up as it goes.

Maybe you're ZUG.
Maybe you're not. In the end it doesn't matter much, because there's plenty of room on the road for everybody.

ZUG says you can sleep later.

So now Mini Coopers offers their standard MINI as ZIG. The convertible Mini as ZAG. and the new Clubman as ZUG.


Love, love, love this piece. Totally inspired! I cant wait until I finally have a job.

Loves,
mer

Blow successfully

With only a year left of school, I am getting antsy for a real job. Although I am highly grateful for the salon, I am so sick of lame hourly jobs without any benefits or perks. However, the whole job interview process makes me nervous. In essence, you are stuck in a room for about 15-30 minutes just selling yourself to a person higher on the food chain. It's basically a huge dog and pony show just to win a chance to bust your ass for pocket change every 2 weeks. I cant wait. To help out my fellow friends who may be in the same boat as me, I have posted a list of things not to say when interviewing.

1. " Does your health plan cover abortion? If so, can I start today? "
2. "Is Jesus considered a personal reference?"
3. When I get nervous, I like to picture the other person naked, with their junk in my mouth."
4." I dont like to brag about competitive offers-let's just say I've had some interest from a company that rhymes with Fluger Cling."
5. "my motto: Work hard, Play hard- or as the Nazis say, Arbeit macht frei."
5. (winking) Why I have no idea how that $5.00 bill just appeared on your desk
6. " My work ethic is so strong, it's practically Asian."
7. " Where I come from, that kind of question will get you shot.
8. Think of me as the Hamburger Helper to your skillet of ground workload.
9. "What the hell is this Microsoft Word everyone keeps talking about?"
10. Do me a kindness and scratch beneath my carpal tunnel splints."
11. Do you have a speakerphone? My Lawyer would like to be involved."
12. "If I smell like Cheez-Its, it's just because I love them so freakin' much!"
13. (winking) Why I have no idea how that $5.00 bill just appeared on your desk."
14. "Sorry I'm late. I could have sworn you said San Fran."
15. Mind if I bunk here till i straighten my housing situation out?"
16. "WOuld it be possible if you could pay me in cash? I am kinda laying low right now."
17. It doesnt matter where I'd be in 5 years because aliens will have inseminated us all by then, right?
18. Funny, everyone who reads my resume always hones right in on the manslaughter.
19, I really look forward to abandoning my dream at your corporation,
20. Let's just cut to the chase: Who and Where is the office slut?
21. My E-meter readings are on the back,
22. Is that a picture of your family? Man, your wife's uterus much be totally blown out!"
23. I guess you can say I am a professional whistle-blower.
24. Im not big on couches. Can I cop a squat?
25. (Answering cell) "Sorry, I gotta grab this. Could be my rabbi.
26 Why yes, it is a fake beard.
27. If you Google me, just be warned that there's a sexual predator who happens to share my name and Facebook page.
28. Allow me to answer that with a tambourine solo.
29. Does the Dyke tattoo on my forehead conform to your dress code?
30. Wow. THis Valium just kicked in.
31. I just need to make enough money not to hate myself for selling out.
32. The crabs rangoon are for both of us, you know.
33. Is that sore on my forehead still running?
34. Youre not going to make me take one of those fucking anger management seminars are you?
35. Is this a Christian workplace or am I going to have my work cut out for me?
36. I have one word for you: Mensa."
37. i'd like to apologize for all the future projectile vomiting you're about to experience.
38. I dont have a last name of address for my last boss but I do have his beeper number.
39. Got $3.00? Ill hit you back when you hire me."
40. I'll take this cap off when the Cubbies when the Series and not a day sooner.
41/ When I said a retard could do this job, of course I mean a highly functioning retard."
42. So what kind of company is Apple?"
43. My qualifications? Isnt that one of those prejudiced questions youre not allowed to ask?
44. If the preparation instructions for Hot Pocket count as my favorite book, then yes, I have a favorite book."
45. To be quite honest, as soon as I earn enough money for calf implants, I am gone."
46. My ideal supervisor would be a surrogate for the mommy who never had time for me."
47. Under 'education' can I just put "the streets'"?
48. I think I am a real team player- just as long as no one touches my hair."
49. If I could be any historical figure? Skeletor."
50. I have one more special skill not listed on my resume, if you'll just draw the curtains..."

Love, love love this

When I first heard Russell Crowe read this during the Super Bowl Sunday past, I thought it was so inspiring. I love the writing in this and think the whole message is beautiful. Thoughts?

Loves,
mer

Chris Rock - It's Hard To Defend Rap Music

A couple of weeks ago, Becca, Ty, and myself got into a disuccssion about rap music. I found this clip and it reminded me of our conversation. It's funny becuase it's true.

No Clue What Happened

I went to write a blog a week ago only to discover blogger deleted my profile. I have no clue how it happened. I was forced to start over and pick a new blog name. I tried to use the same name as before, only blogger kept saying the name was already taken. So odd, I know. Getting a new name has been like getting a new cell phone number; no one knows my new name and informing everyone is just so cumbersome. Once again I ask myself, how does these things always seem to happen to me?

School has begun and I am really excited about this quarter. It's nice not feeling like a freshman again. Some of the kids from my class are acting rather peculiar though. For example, this one guy has been having the worst mood swings. Grant it, he is like a dog in heat right now but still. It's so strange- we just had 2 weeks off. Why is everyone feeling so stressed out and over tired so far?

A nasty little semi hit my car over break. I was stuck on 285 belching loudly to "Lucky." All of a sudden, in the middle of, "Isn't she lucky, this Hollywood girl..." I hear a loud crunch, crunch, crunch. My car started to shake a little and I turn to my left. I see this gicantic red creature trying to get as far away from me as possible. I rolled down my window and began yelling at the driver. "Hey! You hit my car!!!!" The Candian refused to look at me. I honked atleast a zillion times. The Candian fled the scene. Brittany Spears is always causing some sort of trouble whenever she is around. I should have known. How is it that I am sitting in traffic minding my own business and I still manage to get myself into trouble? Sometimes all I can do is laugh.


"All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars" Bob Dylan

In case you don't read Perez...

After a long tearful, dreary, and very depressing day, I survived Christmas (with the help of my Mr. Big- naturally). Turns out, having Christmas without my mother is not as relaxing or as fun as I imagined it would be. This morning, after not sleeping a wink, I was to be at work at 9 AM. What i discovered is that there is no better thing to do when one is brain-dead and emotionally spent than to find humor among the pages of Perez. I wanted to share the love so I post one of his most interesting post.


She must be devastated!

Paris Hilton's grandfather, Barron Hilton, announced Wednesday that he's giving away almost all his fortune to charity!

The hotel tycoon is donating 97% of his 2.3 billion worth to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, named after the initial Hilton that founded the global hotel chain in 1919 with a small hotel in Cisco, Texas.

That means that Barron's kids and grandkids are gonna be left with just $69 million to split amongst them. AND they have to pay taxes on that!

Pennies!

Dang. We kinda feel sorry for Paris. Don't U?

But, then again, the people of the world are over $2 billion richer now!

Hopefully the Conrad N. Hilton foundation will distribute the money wisely.





Is that not great or what? Not like Paris needs any extra money. However, the fact that the grandfather is saying a public, "FU" to his family is classic. Plus, he is doing what he should- giving his money to a better cause.

I plan on playing the $20 New Year lottery. 4 lucky winners win a million dollars. 500 win $1000. If I win anything, I plan on donating half to charity. I would have good Karma for life!!! Here's hoping I win. My credit cards totally need the help!



In other news, I say Charlie Wilson's War this evening. An absolutely wonderful movie despite the fact Charlie Wilson served as a Texan congressman. He was a "party" man and a womanizer so I suppose he made up for it. It's a very smart movie that, in a round about way, puts light on the whole war on Iraq. True story. Tom Hanks deserves another Oscar. He was brilliant in the movie. And my God, Julia's body is amazing looking. Here's hoping I look that good after 3 children.

Loves!
mer



PS Goes who is going to cut their hair just like Paris has it right now?
So scared!

Best. Song. Ever

i love this commercial. they should run it again,

Naturally

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% New York City 60% San Diego 60% San Francisco 60% Washington, DC 50% Boston

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

I would like to thank the Academy

And by Academy, I mean Jaime Walker. Without her help, I do not think I would have been as successful this quarter as I was. On Wednesday past, my final work was reviewed by a panel of 3 professionals, 2 copywriters and one art director. They LOVED J's and my group work, so much so they gave us each $20.00 for doing "kick ass work"-(a direct quote from the very attractive, red hair asshole/ redneck copywriter). Then, I showed them my Ga State and M&Ms campaigns and they LOVED LOVED LOVED both of them! In this industry, it's hard to find anyone who LOVES anything, especially 3 of them. All 3 told me my writing was beautiful, very poetic, and very inspiring. So, although I realize I have way more hard work ahead of me and that one compliment does not define me by any means, I am extremely proud of myself. This past Wednesday was a wonderful ending to a school that has taught me so much.

A couple of months ago, when Jerry Seinfeld accepted a comedian award, he joked that, "...the comedian should be the only one getting awards. We are the only ones that have to actually think of something original and funny, and interesting to say. Do you know how hard that is?"

Yes, yes I do.

Loves!
mer

p.s. thank you Jaime for being a wonderful friend- inside and out of school. I am always here for you. Always.
Loves forever

I need more Sex

I admit, I got goosebumps after the first 5 times watching the trailer. But, hello! Carrie is wearing the ugliest wedding dress ever! And does she have to get married? The show ended perfectly! Here's hoping the movie won't fuck everything up.

Here's the first trailer for the movie. It just came out this evening and thanks to my gay boyfriend, Perez, I was able to share the love. Also, I would like everyone to go to the official Sex and the City movie website and see who was the first person to post a comment. That would be me ")

Comments on the movie?
I think SJP looks adorable in the first 5 seconds (and her hair looks amazing!) but the pics US Weekly has been posting scream "Hasbeen." I really hope this movie doesnt suck. I'll still be the first one at the theater though- carrying a very strong martini.

Loves!
mer

ba hum bug

I hate the holidays. There is so much pressure to please family you don't particularly like and spend money you definitely do not have. To ease the tension this year, I have posed a list of gift ideas for all those stressing to find the perfect present. Feel free to add to the list.

1. A partially stamped Subway "Sub Club" card.
2. A $50 gift certificate to Planned Parenthood.
3. A postcard that reads: ON VACATION IN BAHAMAS. WILL SEND GIFT FROM AIRPORT.
4. A bottle of Old Grand- Dad Whiskey with the note, " For when you fall off the wagon!"
5. A cracked DVD of Miracle on 34th street with a note, "Return to Library after finishing, thanks."
6. A hint: your breath all stanky" post-it note.
7. A blurry Polaroid photo of a defiled toilet with a note that says, " I know it was you!"
8. A Google Earth shot of the recipient's childhood home.
9. A handmade coupon entiling bearer to "Unlimited Forgiveness Upon Accepting Christ as Personal Savior."
10. A $1 gift card to the Dollar Store.
11. A pack of gold paper plates that read, it's Joshua's Bar Mitzvah.
12. A nacho-cheese-scented candle.
13. A thong stamped with your corporate logo.
14. A video of you playing air guitar to, "Do they know it's Christmas?"
15. A tank top with the words WENCH in puffy paint written across the front.
16. A detailed map of the local bomb shelters with pictures of a family member you detest super imposed as the unabomber and a note attached, "just saying".
17. One developmentally delayed foster child.
18. A Swiss Miss cocoa packet you've stuffed with marshmallows picked from other Swiss Miss cocoa packets.
19. The keychain floatie that came with your Nautica jacket.
20. A Christmas wreath fashioned out of Splenda packets.
21. A jarful of sand from your recent Savannah Shore vacation.
22. A hardcover edition of "We wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda," by Phillip Gourevitch, with the inscription, Just as long they kill the Kin-Laws too, right? Merry Christmas!
23. A box filled with one corn holder, earplug, antique chopstick, ski pole, and a defibrillator paddle.
24. "Absolutely nothing since I worked for what I have and believe others should, too."
25. Deployment orders to Iraq.
26.: Footloose on LaserDisc.
27. A charcoal sketch pf you doing aerobics.
28. a "World's Horniest Human" mug.
29. A book of solved New York Times crossword puzzles, with the answers whited- out.
30. A soap dispenser, freshly ripped from the men's room wall.
31. One hamster, two tiny reindeer horns.
32. A replica light saber, "because I saw how you were eyeing mine."
33. Whatever is available in the vending machine.
34. A copy of the, " I really miss you and need you back" mix tape you made for your college ex back in college.
35. A $100 donation, in your recipient's name, made out to your own college fund.
36. A box of matzo for "the Jew."
37. A "Sex Machine" vanity license plate for your coworker's wheelchair,
38. The sixth draft of your first screenplay.
39. Two copies of enRoute, Air Canada's in-flight magazine.
40. a gently used savedarfur.org koosh ball.
41. A pair of slippers you found along the highway.
42. an Every Day is Earth Day reusable grocery bag.
43. One free oboe lesson.
44. an e-greeting from Michael Moore.
45. A shot glass filled with Motrin.
46. "Inter-office Emails: The best of 2007," printed and staple-bounded.
47. A list of death-row inmates desperately in need of pen pals.
48. A spoken letter to your future self, recorded on a cassette tape when you were 11.
49. The beige cardigan the receptionist used before she was fired.
50. One half-eaten triscit.
51. Your 2000 page novel about the dissolution of a marriage that "could really use some line edits."
52. An invitation to touch your biceps (once).
53. A litter of feral cats.
54. The "Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex" with key positions circled and annotated,
55. A note that reads: Um, you're not fired, that's your fucking Christmas Present."

The route of all evil starts at Abercrombie

*all pics taken from Abercrombie's catalogue. All the models in these pics are under the age of 18 :)



































Being a broke grad student, I find it fun to torture myself by shopping for things I cant afford. Yesterday morning, after workingout for 45 minutes, I rewarded myself with a field trip to Victoria's Secret. I stumbled on a new push up bra, one that adds way more padding, and now my girls have a sexy little secret of their own. I showered myself with the new Dolce scent, and discovered a new passion for frozen yogurt. And just as I was about to leave the mall, I passed by a dark, and cold little cave playing annoying club music. I peered into the window and to my astonishment discovered some absolutely adorable little outfits hanging right by the large, framed, half-naked, 12 year old girl. So, against all doubts, I walked into the store and began collecting a plethora of tops and dresses to try on, all in extra small and size 0 (which is my normal size everywhere else). To my astonishment, they do not even fit over my chest. Mind you, I weigh 110 pounds. I exchanged the ex smalls for mediums and still way too snug. I am a size large according to Abercromie!

What the hell is wrong with them? Have they no soul what so ever? First, they find nothing wrong with displaying naked CHILDREN on their walls and in their catalogues. How that is selling clothes is beyond me. But, i get it- sex sells, especially to high schoolers who are ever so anxious to experiment in that world. I dont agree with their logic, but I get it.

What I dont understand is how they can stand back and market these fake sizes when all of America knows how contagious eating disorders are. 1 in 3 women have some sort of eating disorders. Whereas men are measured more by their intelligence and by their bank accounts, women are constantly measured by the way the way our body curves or doesnt curve, how flat, straight, or round we are, by numbers and inches. Naturally, it would make anyone crazy and psycho. But cant we spare these young women from diving into such insecurities until later in life?

Abercrombie's main target market are young women still in high school and college. How may girls have gone in there and probably felt extremely insecure about their bodies because they fit into an extra large (which in most other stores would most likely be a small!!) I started my eating disorder when I was in Rome, where the majority of women weigh 90 pounds, so I know what they must be thinking. So Sad. Here's hoping they have to file Chapter 11 as the economy continues to crash.



LOVES!
mer

So Madonna of me

Growing up with a very starch, strict Catholic mother leaves a child resenting religion a little. I hate it when people are not open to learning about other cultures and beliefs other than what they were taught to believe in. Last Friday in the salon, I noticed that Mojgan, the esthetician, and probably one of the nicest human beings I have ever met, was wearing a red string around her left hand. I asked her what it stood for and she explained it is a Kabbalah practice. The string is supposed to remind and help a person stray from doing evil, gossiping, and help a person become a better individual. I’m certainly not in the market to change religions but I love this idea. Early this morning, when my eyes were still have swollen from not sleeping last night, Mojgan knotted a red string on my left arm 8 times. An hour later, I slipped off the wagon when laughing over how crazy Brit Brit is. Mojgan, in such a sweet manner, corrected me. I quickly zipped my lip and recovered gracefully. Unfortunately, not everyone is behind my new commitment. After telling my mother about my new challenge, she chewed my ear off, questioning why I would give up on being a Catholic after 27 years. I tried to explain the only thing I was giving up is all my bad habits but she still doesn’t get it. I don’t blame her though. She grew up being taught by nuns, way before Second Vatican occurred. Here’s hoping my string can last longer than a week.

Loves!
mer

When hair stylists fuck up

My mom started my modeling career when I was about 18 months old. I started out doing Gerber and baby formula print ads. Eventually, after learning to talk, I was picked to advertise Welch’s grape fruit juice, represent some children’s hospital, even sang the Oscar Myer song in attempts to sell more bologna. To this day, the only way I can spell bologna is by singing the song.
Before every audition my mother would spend a countless amount of time on fixing my hair, which I am sure amounted to no more than10 strands. She always had me stand right in front of her, mirror in front of me, and as she was fixing some new coiffure, she’d repeat over and over, “hair makes the woman.” I never really gave this a second thought until last week, while working the front desk at Carter Barns, I decided to experiment with my hair. Corey didn’t have anyone coming in until later in the afternoon and offered to add red highlights to my hair, which at time sounded like an awesome idea. It was the worst experience ever. From the scorching water he used to wash my hair to the burning sensation I felt as soon as he left red hair dye in my hair for over an hour, the whole process was a nightmare. The results were far worse, as you can see from the pictures.
As soon as Corey finished styling my hair, I was on the phone with Van Michael requesting an emergency appointment with my regularly scheduled hair stylist. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for change. I rarely have the same hair color twice. But I definitely cannot pull off the bright red. And people treated me differently. Usually men are all so very sweet to me and cant do enough for me, and women are typically way bitchy with me (which I have now learned to take it a compliment). However, with me looking like a crazy punk, strangers perceived me to be someone entirely different. Men were extremely rough with me, talking to me like I was druggie girl who didn’t amount to much. Women tried to avoid eye contact with me but just as they think I wasn’t looking, I caught them stealing glances at my head. I even got approached by an elderly woman with a hunchback selling tickets to the circus. She said I looked like I loved clowns. I’m deadly scared of clowns.
So, I got my hair fixed thanks to my hair stylist genius, Ron Rock. It’s not totally back to normal (it’s a million times darker than I had it before) but it’s a million times better than what Corey did to me. Next month I’m going back to Van Michael and to add the lighter highlights around my face…and to add more 20 more pieces of hair to my head. Finally, I can go through life with thick hair. Can’t wait!

Loves!
mer

Best. Show. Ever

Every season I think they cant get any funnier, but naturally they have. I love the Office so much, possibly even more than Sex and the City! I have decided every week I'm going to post an Office highlight in hopes of persuading others to watch more often. I like the direction the show is taking. Just feel bad for Dwight :(

All I want for Christmas are ear muffs.

Today, as I was busy changing from a golden-brunnette to a red-head, I told my hair dresser my deepest desire to relocate to Manhanttan. He in turn told me stories of living in the city back in the early 80's. He lived in the Village in a very runned down studio. One day, as he's eating raw cookie dough, (which just so happends to me one of my guiltiest pleasures), he notices some of the chips in the half eaten log are moving. The chocolate had been replaced with bugs. A couple months later, minutes after showering, his ear begins to itch. He takes a q-tip and swabs out his ear. When he pulls the stick out, he notices bite marks on the ball of the cotton. Come to find out, a roach crawled into his ear in the middle of the evening and found it cozy enough not to leave, I fear I will now have nightmares for a long time coming. Apprently, these type of stories are far from uncommon. Last summer, David Sedaris wrote a story for the New Yorker in which he retells the time when 2 worms randomly crawling out of his boyfriend and his boyfriend's mother's legs and him having crabs. If you have time. definitly check it out.

and just when i think i've seen everything...

I read there is a two-headed turtle displayed in suburban Philadelphia pet store. My head is filled with all sorts of unanswerable questions; how will this creature possible go anywhere? How does he (they?) relieve himself? Do both heads work or is one merely just for show? More importantly, how much does this turtle cost? I can just imagine the endless amount of pleasure I would have displaying this thing to everyone! I would carry him around, much like a girl carries around her dog, only my animal would certainly get far more attention. I am sure everyone would stop and stare, all the while pondering what type of mad scientist could create such a thing. The article pertaining to the picture leaves far too much to the imagination. Even if I wanted to see the turtle in person, the article lacks to explain the exact location of the pet store. Scandalous.

Such a good commercial

It's the little things in life that make me happy

80's flash back...

December 2004. I had just started dating someone, My Mr. Big, and he had asked me to attend a dinner party held at this very extravagant country club. We arrived at the function and since I was nervous, began to drink heavily, a habit I was quite fond of during that time in my life. We all had assigned seats for dinner. MMB and I were sitting at different ends of the table, not by choice. Surpisingly, I was able to carry on clever and charming conversation all the while disguising as a lovely, sober woman. Knowing how I was back then, I am sure I was well on my way to drunkville.

Desert was accompanied by a horrific announcement- everyone was required to share a personal story, more specifically, a personal sports story (the company is made up of mostly men, so go fig). Instantly I began to freak out and fought back hot tears that desperately wanted to roll down my face. I have a fear of failure and sounding stupid to begin with. The fact I was so not that sober and sitting at a table filled with genius millionaires almost made me want to vomit. I had no real stories about sports because the only game I truly have ever played/ mastered is the dating game- or so I thought.

My head started screaming inside of my brain, yelling over numerous, sweet stories that included everything from coaching children’s baseball leagues to completing multiple triathlons. Suddenly, it was my turn. I opened up my mouth to talk and this very unsure, mousy voice takes over.
Out of nowhere, I began telling my story. Mind you, it’s all very true.

“Every July, as you all are well aware, the Peachtree Road race occurs. One summer in the early 80's, a photographer by the name of Chuck Rogers was given a Nike assignment. He decided to take a picture of random runners who had just finished the race. Mr. Rogers did not assign any models nor did he know anything about the runners before he shot the scene. The picture was as random but as perfect as any photographer can hope for. Before the ad could successfully be published, Mr. Rogers researched the stories behind the men in the pictures. What he found out was astonishing. The man who is on the ground and wearing a bright yellow shirt, collapsed immediately after the race, dying from heat stroke just minutes after the picture was taken. Runners passed by and thought this man was merely resting. The man, who stands in front of the picture bare chest, looking up to the sky, is mentally handicapped. This race marked his first successful accomplishment. He did not know the man on the ground. And the man who is in the not so distant background, wearing black shorts, a white polo shirt tucked in, Nikes (without socks) and holding a steaming hot cup of coffee, is my father. The actual ad has a clearer vision of my father. The ad was so successful; it won many awards and went international. I remember seeing it one year while I was still living in Paris. A large copy can also be seen in the movie, St Elmo's Fire (or so I’ve heard- never seen the movie. Heard it wasn’t very good). Nike contacted my father with the story and a check, however my humble father declined any financial handouts. Therefore, in lieu of money, Nike sent my father a framed poster, which in turn hung proudly in my father's IBM office until the day he retired. It now hangs in my brother's.”

I had only heard that story once before. The day it was told to me I was quite certain I was in another world and could not have even remembered my best friend's name if you had asked me. I'm surprised I was able to remember any of details at the Christmas party. Needless to say, my story was by far the best in the room.

Moral of the story? There are no such things as coincidences.

Loves,
mer